Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Nightly News

"Welcome to Hulaville's Nightly News. I'm Rich Richman."

"The Thrill Seeker was finally caught today by a special police unit, The Pineapple Patrol. Lead by ex-super-villain, and former arch-nemesis to Action Steve, The Mighty Pineapple. In a statement Senator --"


"--Do you have unsightly body hair? Try--"

"Hey change it back!" Action Steve asks Edna, The Roller Derby Server and mechanic, who is holding the remote to one of The Cold War Cafe's Television sets.

"Sorry. Thought you didn't want to see it," she changes it back

"--My friends, for too long this city has been at the mercy of costumed criminals--"

"Cheesy!" Action Steve exclaims.

"Waaaaahhwwk!" Action Raptor chides Action Steve into silence. He would like to hear what the senator has to say.

"But now we finally have a real solution! Rather than rely on the services of unreliable, so called, super heroes," Action Steve Grimaces, Edna rolls her eyes at Action Steve, "We now have a special police unit with talented individuals and professionals, who take their responsibility for protecting their city much more seriously."

Rich Richman continues, "When Asked to comment on the senator's obvious slight at The Action Alliance, Hulaville super hero and mayoral candidate, Action Pre had this to say:"

"I don't know what the senator is talking about. I and the other members of the Action Alliance have saved the city countless times, but I do want to recognize the good work The Pineapple Patrol has done. If I am elected Mayor, I will appoint The Mighty Pineapple chief of police!"

Action Steve and Action Raptor make for The Super Action Vehicle. They walk by a few mutant potatoes, who greet him. "Hi guys," says Action Steve. Action Raptor also says hi, "Thuuurrtch!"

Before getting into the car, Action Steve gets a phone call. "Yes? No, I'm fine. Thanks, I'm glad I'm ok too. No, I'm coming in tomorrow."

"Thaaaauuric!" Action Raptor comments, not for the first time, how weird it is that Action Steve has a day job as a technical support agent in a call center.

"Being a super hero doesn't pay the bills man."

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