Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The New Beginning

That about wraps it up for the Action Steve Blog. But.....

The Action Steve comic is going strong! It's updated every monday and you can check it out at

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Monday, August 2, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Waking up"

    A large bearded man is lying unconscious on the floor of a corporate meeting room. He is soaking wet, wearing a cape and a mask, and snoring, loudly.


    Instantly the man sits up. Immediately he regrets it. The man remembers having had worse headaches, but this one is among the top 3 for sure. Never mind, he thinks as he looks around, got to survey the situation. Within arms reach is his upturned fedora, which is full of, he sniffs the hats contents as he picks it up, ... seawater? Is he near a beach? He empties it and does his best to remove the sand from his, probably now ruined, hat and replaces it on his head. As he stands up he can see that he's in a meeting room in some office. A glance out the window tells him he's several stories up.

    Did they bring the water up here? Is this room the result of a beach party gone wrong? He looks down just in time to see a small crab walk over his shoe. It's now that he notices fish wriggling on the floor, sand, shells, and starfish all over the soaked carpet. He takes off his black, water-soaked, cape, thinking this must be why no ocean themed super heroes wear them, and starts to look for his guitar, it's gadgets are sure to be water logged, but it'll still be an effective weapon, should he need to fight.


    Is that....? The man begins to think as he walks around the meeting table toward the source of the sound...

    It's a dinosaur, a raptor, with obvious cybernetic modifications. It has two jet engines and metal wings... The two look at each other, confused, they're not sure, but...

    They're friends aren't they?


    The man remembers his friend's, his very best friend's name, "A-Action Raptor? How're ya doin' buddy?" How could he have forgotten it, his best friend's name? It must be this headache, but the relief to see that his friend is alright is making that headache, and the fuzziness that went with it, go away.

    The raptor brightens up when he hears that name, that's him. Of course that's him, and this man in front of him, dressed in black, wearing a black fedora, is his greatest friend and ally, none other than Action Steve!

    "Raaaaaitch!" the raptor replies, in language that his friend instantly understands, that he's been better but is glad to see Action Steve.

    What's this dear readers? It seems that the clones of Action Steve and one of the clones of Action Raptor have completely forgotten that they're copies of the originals! What will befall this pair now that the magical spells controlling them and making them evil are gone?

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Monday, July 19, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "The Search"

    Action Steve, a large bearded man wearing a straw fedora, blue mask, gloves, cape, and a guitar strapped to his back, walked confidently into the empty, and very wet, offices of the Selene building. Close behind him was Action Steve's partner in crime-fighting, Action Raptor, a feathered dinosaur wearing a pair of World War I aviator's goggles along with a cap and scarf. Strapped to his back was a cannon full of non-lethal weaponry and gadgets. The pair had only just escaped imprisonment here, but now they had back up.

    Behind the Action Duo was Action Pre, garbed in a gray pin striped suit and wearing a gray fedora, Action Pre is a genetically re-engineered and cybernetically enhanced super hero! Also here is The Incapacitator, his dark gray body armor is decorated with all manner of non-lethal guns, gas grenades, and the like. Hulaville's finest is also here represented by The Mighty Pineapple, a former super villain and current police detective, she sports a catchy, fruit-themed, punk ensemble, along with her fruit smoothie guitar--

    Ahem, now that the wardrobe is fully described, we come to The Action...

    Or so one might have thought.  Selene was the front for a criminal enterprise headed by one of Action Steve's greatest enemies, The Senator, an ancient wizard in the guise of a modern politician, who prefers to manipulate things from the shadows. The Senator had been creating magical clones as part of a greater plot, but he hadn't counted on another villain, The Ancient Greek God of Toilets, Biggus Mikus, crashing his party. The building was now soaked with sea-water, the result of a magical deluge. People were, ahem, pouring out of the building. Our heroes looked for The Senator, or his partner in crime, Lounatic, but could not find either of them in the crowd.

    The Mighty Pineapple turned to Action Pre and asked in a loud voice, so as to be heard over the crowd, "What now?" Action Pre appeared to concentrate. What he was really doing was using his cybernetically enhanced ears to filter through the noise and listen for things one would not hear in an office building, but one might hear in, say, a secret magical cloning facility.

    To his surprise, he heard his own voice call out to him, "Come for me brother, I am waiting." Could this be another evil clone? This time of Action Pre?

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Monday, June 28, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Lounatic Captured!"

    The would-be crime lord calling himself Lounatic is coming too. Though he feels drugged and groggy, he opens his eyes. He's in a small room that seems to be made entirely of cement. A chain block and tackle hangs from a track in the ceiling. His legs are tied at the ankles and his wrists are similarly tied behind his back. Around him is the smell of new machinery and cement. He doesn't recognize this place but he can guess where it is. Action Pre's clone, who was probably activated by The Senator in order to aid his escape, has gone rogue and this is, ugh, the clone's secret lair.

    They always have secret lairs, Lounatic thought to himself. And now I am very probably being held by a being who has all the power, intelligence, and ambition of Action Pre but who is unburdened by any moral considerations. Well I suppose it might be a good time to evaluate what got me to this point.

    Lounatic had graduated with an MBA, but his dreams of business empires had quickly been dashed when he found himself stuck in middle management. Feeling doomed to a lifetime full of meetings, mission statements, and disinterested employees, his ambitions quickly lead him to a life of crime. He'd found it absurdly easy to make a large profit from selling the trade secrets of his employer. From there he had moved to embezzlement, corporate espionage, and outright stealing. Although he was good at it, this last venture proved his downfall. Lounatic had only within the last year been released from prison for armed robbery. His best employment opportunity after being released had been to join a gang headed by crime boss with a flair for the dramatic, The Original Mr. E-vil, Elli Manalo.

    Sadly it had turned out that instead of being interested in profitable ventures, like illegal gambling, or protection rackets, "Mr. E-vil" was primarily interested in fighting a fat bearded man in a cape calling himself by the ridiculous name of Action Steve. Lounatic had eventually had enough and shot Elli Manalo straight in the chest and then dropped him from a great height. When it came to betrayal, Lounatic took no chances. Action Steve and his dinosaur pet, Action Raptor, were quickly caught and replaced with techno-magical clones. But his partner in crime, The Senator, just had to capture a minor ancient greek god of toilets, Biggus Mikus. Predictably, the god escaped, along with Action Steve, by making all the bathrooms in their new building flood in a great torrent.

    One lesson from all this was clear at least. Lounatic was going to have to re-evaluate the kind of people he chose to work with.

    Knock. Knock.

    What? What kind of jailer knocks on a prisoner's door before entering? Have I been captured by kind captors, Lounatic silently asked himself.

    The door opens to reveal Lounatic's "jailer", who is smiling like any cookie-cutter super-villain might. This is hardly surprising but Lounatic doesn't have a chance to notice its unsurprisingness because he is too busy being surprised by who the villain is, a clone of himself. Action Pre's clone was making clones of his own.

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Friday, April 23, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "When Plans Go Awry"

    One of Hulaville's most talented and promising young criminals, Lounatic, is soaking wet and running down a hallway in the recently flooded Selene building. He'd been very ambitious. He'd planned to use his newly created research and development firm, Selene, as a front for a new criminal empire. Lounatic had planned to make clones, with the magical help of his business partner, The Senator, to replace key individuals: titans of industry, government officials, and the local so-called super hero community. He is now alone, running toward the stairs, desperately trying to escape being arrested by the police or captured by his former prisoners, two of Hulaville's greatest super heroes, Action Raptor and Action Steve!

    Lounatic is now at the stairs, jumping them two at a time. Where is The Senator? Gone most likely, along with the super hero clones no doubt. They would have been useful in an escape. If I get out of this, thought Lounatic to himself, I'm going to make my next secret escape elevator waterproof. Because of this magical deluge of water, he can't be that sure any of the equipment he'd normally use in a fight. It might not work. It could even backfire and hurt him. His cell phone is waterlogged, his secret caches of weapons were caught in the flood and are surely unusable, and his partner in crime and the clones are nowhere to be found! Maybe I'm be better off not trying to escape, he thinks. He doesn't have any super-heroic powers with which to fight off The Action Alliance, a team including a genetically engineered cyborg of superior strength and a dinosaur with a shoulder mounted cannon.

    "Wait." Lounatic says this aloud and stops running. My best bet is to get arrested and get a good lawyer, he thinks. He can hear the voices of the Action Alliance now. They're probably coming up the stairs. Ah, here is one of them now. Lounatic can hear the heavy footfalls of that cyborg, Action Pre. A fight would be no contest, thinks Lounatic. I might as well sit down and give up now. He sits down on the stairs and waits.
    The cyborg pops his head up over the stair rail, "Hello Lounatic. I'm surprised to see you just standing there."

    "Why shouldn't I be?" Lounatic was giving nothing away. "What do you want?"

    "I'da thought you would've already figured that out, Loony." Action Pre was walking--no, swaggering--toward Lounatic.

    "Loony?" asks a perplexed Lounatic. He's not insulted, it would be wasted energy to be insulted by something like that, but .... something isn't right. He's never seen Action Pre this cocky. Granted, Lounatic has never seen him in person until just now, but none of what he learned of the man made Lounatic think Action Pre would be like this. He seemed more like a crooked cop than a super-hero do-gooder.

    "Oh," Lounatic says in dawning realization. This is the clone of Action Pre! But it's not supposed to be online! Maybe the flood caused something to activate him?

    "'Oh' is right pal." The clone of Action Pre is leering menacingly now. He looks behind Lounatic. "Grab him." Instantly, two giant, clawed, reptilian arms grab Lounatic from behind.

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Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Calling It In"

    The Mighty Pineapple, Hulaville police detective, still damp from swimming in office corridors, gets in the driver's seat of The Super Action Vehicle, or Savie as he likes to be called, and looks for the police band radio. "Where is it?"

    BEEEP! Savie wiggles the reciever so that The Mighty Pineapple might see it.

    "Whoah!" She picks it up, but then sticks her head out the window to speak to the group of heroes getting equipment from the trunk. She knows Action Pre, Action Raptor, and Action Steve are there but she can only see The Incapacitator, who is readying his gas grenade gun. "Hey!" He turns to her. "Is this some kind of robot car? I think it understood me."

    The Incapacitator nods his head. "Magic, Savie Magicaly became a person."

    "Of course." The Mighty Pineapple says this in tones that indicate there is no amount of weirdness that can weird her out more that she already has been. She is at her weirded out limit. She picks up the radio. "Dispatch this is The Mighty Pineapple, please get me Detective Ace Malloy."

    In moments Ace Malloy, liason to all of Hulaville's registered super heroes, is on the line. "I hear there's flood at the Selene building. That's where I asked you to check out a lead on The Senator's whereabouts."

    "That's right sir," responds The Mighty Pineapple.

    The Senator had killed the super villain known as The Thrill Seeker and in doing so revealed himself as a centuries old wizard who had been conspiring with The Thrill Seeker to ruin The Action Alliance. After this revelation, The Senator disappeared, but his last known phone call was to a 30 story high rise housing a new research and development firm, Selene.

    The Mighty Pineapple continues, "After a tour of the building I was in one of their corner offices with Chief Administrative Officer Ronald Brown and then all hell broke loose. Apparently Selene is a front for a new criminal operation headed by The Senator and a relative unknown calling himself Lounatic. Action Steve, Action Raptor and that minor toilet god, Biggus Mikus, were all trapped in one of their labs. Working together they were able to escape. One of the results of this escape was that the whole building was flooded with a magical deluge. The hallways were like white water rapids sir. It had to be seen to be believed."

    "I believe it," said Malloy, "I've been in this town long enough." Malloy sighs. "If I know those hero types they're getting ready to go after The Senator and Lounatic and who ever else is there. Back up is on it's way but I want you to tag along with those knuckle heads and make sure they don't get themselves killed or make things worse."

    "Yes sir."

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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Our Heroes Join Forces"

    Three of Hulaville's greatest Heroes are landing in a flooded parking lot of The Selene building: Action Pre, a genetically enhanced cyborg; The Incapacitator, a hero whose arsenal consists entirely of non-lethal weaponry; and the vehicle who carries them both, Savie, a flying car from an alternate future, who is now magically alive as a result of an inter-dimensional adventure. The three land near 3 more of Hulaville's heroes: The mighty Pineapple, former super villain and current Hulaville police detective; and the Action Duo Action Raptor and Action Steve! all three of whom are soaked.

    The entire Selene building, a 30 story high rise, had been covered in a deluge of water. The roof was a giant fountain. The volume of water and the water pressure required for such a thing to happen just wasn't present in Hulaville's water system. Which led Action Pre to ask, "was this magical or something to do with selene's research? I doubt it's research."

    "Definitely magic," responded Action Steve as he walked over to Savie's trunk. "Hiya Savie, how ya been?"

    BEEEEP! Savie was very glad indeed to see that Action Steve and Action Raptor were both alright.

    "Raaaaaaaitch!" responded Action Raptor.

    "Pop open your trunk would ya?" requested Action Steve. Savie's trunk opened and Action Steve and Action Raptor began toweling off and re-equipping. During their imprisonment Action Steve and Action Raptor were stripped of all gadgets and weapons. Including Action Raptor's utility cannon, Action Steve's Action Ukulele, and even Action Steve's shoes!

    "Can I use your radio? I gotta call this in." asked The Mighty Pineapple.

    "Be my guest." responded our masked Hulavillite. As Action Steve looked through the trunk for a spare Action-lele he continued to brief his fellow Action Alliance members. "It's Lounatic. Mr-E-vil's second in command. And The Senator if Biggus Mikus is to be believed."

    "The Senator who's that?" asked The Incapacitator.

    Action Pre gave The Incapacitator a look that said, wow you have been gone a while. Then he asked, "Biggus Mikus? You mean that ridiculous toilet god I wiped the floor with?"

    "The man with genetic and cybernetic enhancements specifically designed to speak with dolphins says ridiculous?" replied Action Steve with a smile that indicated that comment was in no way intended to mock. "All will be revealed gentlemen. Hey, what's this?" Instead of his spare Action Ukulele. Action Steve found a guitar.

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