Friday, April 23, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "When Plans Go Awry"

    One of Hulaville's most talented and promising young criminals, Lounatic, is soaking wet and running down a hallway in the recently flooded Selene building. He'd been very ambitious. He'd planned to use his newly created research and development firm, Selene, as a front for a new criminal empire. Lounatic had planned to make clones, with the magical help of his business partner, The Senator, to replace key individuals: titans of industry, government officials, and the local so-called super hero community. He is now alone, running toward the stairs, desperately trying to escape being arrested by the police or captured by his former prisoners, two of Hulaville's greatest super heroes, Action Raptor and Action Steve!

    Lounatic is now at the stairs, jumping them two at a time. Where is The Senator? Gone most likely, along with the super hero clones no doubt. They would have been useful in an escape. If I get out of this, thought Lounatic to himself, I'm going to make my next secret escape elevator waterproof. Because of this magical deluge of water, he can't be that sure any of the equipment he'd normally use in a fight. It might not work. It could even backfire and hurt him. His cell phone is waterlogged, his secret caches of weapons were caught in the flood and are surely unusable, and his partner in crime and the clones are nowhere to be found! Maybe I'm be better off not trying to escape, he thinks. He doesn't have any super-heroic powers with which to fight off The Action Alliance, a team including a genetically engineered cyborg of superior strength and a dinosaur with a shoulder mounted cannon.

    "Wait." Lounatic says this aloud and stops running. My best bet is to get arrested and get a good lawyer, he thinks. He can hear the voices of the Action Alliance now. They're probably coming up the stairs. Ah, here is one of them now. Lounatic can hear the heavy footfalls of that cyborg, Action Pre. A fight would be no contest, thinks Lounatic. I might as well sit down and give up now. He sits down on the stairs and waits.
    The cyborg pops his head up over the stair rail, "Hello Lounatic. I'm surprised to see you just standing there."

    "Why shouldn't I be?" Lounatic was giving nothing away. "What do you want?"

    "I'da thought you would've already figured that out, Loony." Action Pre was walking--no, swaggering--toward Lounatic.

    "Loony?" asks a perplexed Lounatic. He's not insulted, it would be wasted energy to be insulted by something like that, but .... something isn't right. He's never seen Action Pre this cocky. Granted, Lounatic has never seen him in person until just now, but none of what he learned of the man made Lounatic think Action Pre would be like this. He seemed more like a crooked cop than a super-hero do-gooder.

    "Oh," Lounatic says in dawning realization. This is the clone of Action Pre! But it's not supposed to be online! Maybe the flood caused something to activate him?

    "'Oh' is right pal." The clone of Action Pre is leering menacingly now. He looks behind Lounatic. "Grab him." Instantly, two giant, clawed, reptilian arms grab Lounatic from behind.

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Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Calling It In"

    The Mighty Pineapple, Hulaville police detective, still damp from swimming in office corridors, gets in the driver's seat of The Super Action Vehicle, or Savie as he likes to be called, and looks for the police band radio. "Where is it?"

    BEEEP! Savie wiggles the reciever so that The Mighty Pineapple might see it.

    "Whoah!" She picks it up, but then sticks her head out the window to speak to the group of heroes getting equipment from the trunk. She knows Action Pre, Action Raptor, and Action Steve are there but she can only see The Incapacitator, who is readying his gas grenade gun. "Hey!" He turns to her. "Is this some kind of robot car? I think it understood me."

    The Incapacitator nods his head. "Magic, Savie Magicaly became a person."

    "Of course." The Mighty Pineapple says this in tones that indicate there is no amount of weirdness that can weird her out more that she already has been. She is at her weirded out limit. She picks up the radio. "Dispatch this is The Mighty Pineapple, please get me Detective Ace Malloy."

    In moments Ace Malloy, liason to all of Hulaville's registered super heroes, is on the line. "I hear there's flood at the Selene building. That's where I asked you to check out a lead on The Senator's whereabouts."

    "That's right sir," responds The Mighty Pineapple.

    The Senator had killed the super villain known as The Thrill Seeker and in doing so revealed himself as a centuries old wizard who had been conspiring with The Thrill Seeker to ruin The Action Alliance. After this revelation, The Senator disappeared, but his last known phone call was to a 30 story high rise housing a new research and development firm, Selene.

    The Mighty Pineapple continues, "After a tour of the building I was in one of their corner offices with Chief Administrative Officer Ronald Brown and then all hell broke loose. Apparently Selene is a front for a new criminal operation headed by The Senator and a relative unknown calling himself Lounatic. Action Steve, Action Raptor and that minor toilet god, Biggus Mikus, were all trapped in one of their labs. Working together they were able to escape. One of the results of this escape was that the whole building was flooded with a magical deluge. The hallways were like white water rapids sir. It had to be seen to be believed."

    "I believe it," said Malloy, "I've been in this town long enough." Malloy sighs. "If I know those hero types they're getting ready to go after The Senator and Lounatic and who ever else is there. Back up is on it's way but I want you to tag along with those knuckle heads and make sure they don't get themselves killed or make things worse."

    "Yes sir."

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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Our Heroes Join Forces"

    Three of Hulaville's greatest Heroes are landing in a flooded parking lot of The Selene building: Action Pre, a genetically enhanced cyborg; The Incapacitator, a hero whose arsenal consists entirely of non-lethal weaponry; and the vehicle who carries them both, Savie, a flying car from an alternate future, who is now magically alive as a result of an inter-dimensional adventure. The three land near 3 more of Hulaville's heroes: The mighty Pineapple, former super villain and current Hulaville police detective; and the Action Duo Action Raptor and Action Steve! all three of whom are soaked.

    The entire Selene building, a 30 story high rise, had been covered in a deluge of water. The roof was a giant fountain. The volume of water and the water pressure required for such a thing to happen just wasn't present in Hulaville's water system. Which led Action Pre to ask, "was this magical or something to do with selene's research? I doubt it's research."

    "Definitely magic," responded Action Steve as he walked over to Savie's trunk. "Hiya Savie, how ya been?"

    BEEEEP! Savie was very glad indeed to see that Action Steve and Action Raptor were both alright.

    "Raaaaaaaitch!" responded Action Raptor.

    "Pop open your trunk would ya?" requested Action Steve. Savie's trunk opened and Action Steve and Action Raptor began toweling off and re-equipping. During their imprisonment Action Steve and Action Raptor were stripped of all gadgets and weapons. Including Action Raptor's utility cannon, Action Steve's Action Ukulele, and even Action Steve's shoes!

    "Can I use your radio? I gotta call this in." asked The Mighty Pineapple.

    "Be my guest." responded our masked Hulavillite. As Action Steve looked through the trunk for a spare Action-lele he continued to brief his fellow Action Alliance members. "It's Lounatic. Mr-E-vil's second in command. And The Senator if Biggus Mikus is to be believed."

    "The Senator who's that?" asked The Incapacitator.

    Action Pre gave The Incapacitator a look that said, wow you have been gone a while. Then he asked, "Biggus Mikus? You mean that ridiculous toilet god I wiped the floor with?"

    "The man with genetic and cybernetic enhancements specifically designed to speak with dolphins says ridiculous?" replied Action Steve with a smile that indicated that comment was in no way intended to mock. "All will be revealed gentlemen. Hey, what's this?" Instead of his spare Action Ukulele. Action Steve found a guitar.

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Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Biggus Mikus Is Leaving The Building"

    In previous episodes it has been revealed that The Senator, a man who no longer actually a senator but still likes to think of himself as such (though he is actually an ancient wizard), and Lounatic, a man who until recently was second in command in a small Hulaville gang but is now the CEO of the research and development firm, Selene, had captured two of Hulaville's greatest heroes: Action Steve and Action Raptor! The two had been imprisoned in cages in one of Selene's secret genetics labs, it was in this lab, in fact, where The Senator and Lounatic had combined magic and science to create clones of Action Steve, Action Raptor, Lounatic's former boss The Original Mr. E-vil Elli Manalo, and many others.

    But now things are getting out of control. Lounatic is in a break room with several temporary employees. They are all standing on one of the many lunch tables surrounded by several feet of fast moving water. Lounatic had been swimming along the corridors, looking for a way out, but once he actually got to the stairs he decided it was too dangerous. As he was swimming his way to the break room he saw several instances of people being magically saved by drowning, or getting injured. Whenever anyone was in trouble a magical light would envelope them and take them to a safe place. Lountatic had assumed the water was Biggus Mikus's doing. The Senator just had to go and kidnap the ancient Greek god of toiletries didn't he? The glowing magic saving innocent people from harm almost certainly meant that Action Steve and Action Raptor was with him. But with his cell phone shorted out and no way to get farther than a few yards down the hall, Lounatic had little alternative but to find somewhere relatively calm and wait this out.


    The Mighty Pineapple, Hulaville police detective, was swimming with the current down the hall, looking for the stairs. She hadn't yet seen how dangerous they looked. As she and the water turn a corner she is amazed to see a sheer wall of water coming her way and Biggus Mikus, ancient Greek god of Toiletries, surfing that wave on a giant seashell!

    Also on the shell are two green skinned mermaids, and The Action Duo! Action Raptor and Action Steve! As the massive wave approaches her the Action Duo grab The Mighty Pineapple's arms and pull her onto the shell. Biggus Mikus rolls his eyes. "Try not to take on any more hitchhikers before we get out of here." With that the shell speeds up and heads straight for a window! At first The Mighty Pineapple is afraid she's going to be hit or drown, but Action Steve and Action Raptor see her and help her on the the shell as they meet.

    As our shell surfers hit the window, it glows in a magical yellow light and bursts as if it were the surface of a pool as a great stream of water jets out of the building in an arc terminating in the Selene parking lot, which is where the giant shell and it's occupants emerge. Biggus Mikus looks smug. "Not a bad exit. Alright chumps," he says referring to the soaked Mighty Pineapple, Action Steve, and Action Raptor, "the building should dry out soon. I'll be seeing you all later." And with that, the shell, the mermaids, and Biggus Mikus, fade away until they disappear, leaving our heroes to fall together in a heap on the ground.
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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "On The Trail Of Rocket Raptors!"

    The Super Action Vehicle was attacked by Rocket Raptors!*

    The Super Action Vehicle is a flying car used by Action Steve and Action Raptor in their fight against injustice. During one of their recent adventures in a magical dimension, The Super Action Vehicle, or Savie, as he prefers to be called, became magically alive! After coming back home Savie had taken to flying around the city for fun. It was during one of these flights that the Rocket Raptors attacked! If not for the heroic action of Action Alliance members, The Incapacitator and Action Pre, Savie might well have been destroyed!

    Newly repaired and with his two rescuers riding in his front seats, Savie flies to where he was previously attacked. Savie touches down on the helicopter landing pad of one the buildings he was nearby when the attack happened. The two heroes get out and have a look around.

    "Not much here," The Incapacitator wasn't sure what he was looking for. A secret hatch the creatures flew out of? Heck, they could have flown out of  a window with little risk of being spotted. Also, Savie wasn't sure where exactly they had come from. He just saw them come at him en masse from behind this building. That doesn't mean they had actually launched from here.

    "We'll probably need to contact Detective Malloy and get him to ask for a search warrant. In the meantime we can have a look around the other build-- wait!" Action Pre's genetically and cybernetically enhanced eyes fixed themselves at the new downtown high rise. "Have a look at the new Selene building." Action Pre always made a point to know who the major business players were in the city. It was useful information in his crime fighting activities and in his political career.

    The Incapacitator took out some binoculars. What he saw was a thirty-story high rise with a giant fountain of water bursting from it's roof and cascading down it's sides. "There is no way there's enough water pressure in that building to make that happen."

    "Magic then?" asks Action Pre.

    "You want to bet something besides your had or your shoes that that's where we'll find the Rocket Raptors and The Action Duo?" asks The Incapacitator.

    "Would you take that bet at this point? C'mon!"

    The two heroes quickly get into Savie. As soon as they're buckled up, the magical flying robot car lifts off toward the Selene building.

*In truth the unfeathered cyborg clones of Action Raptor were outfitted with wings and jet engines, but I won't let that detail get in the way of some fun alliteration. I make no apologies. :P

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Thursday, April 1, 2010

Another Action Steve Comic!

Click here to read it!

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The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Escape!"

    In our last episode the little known ancient Greek god of toiletries, Biggus Mikus, was locked in a secret laboratory along with Action Steve and Action Raptor. Using his plunger scepter, Biggus Mikus caused all the toilets in the building to overflow like no toilets had before! The water level on every floor of the high rise was five feet, and water was rushing through the halls and offices like white water rapids! Water had burst into the lab and was flowing into the cages hanging from the ceiling that held the god and The Action Duo!

    Then Action Steve noticed what at first looked like a giant log floating toward him, until he saw the eye stalks. Our hero was at a loss for words, until the giant crab claw rushed at him!

    "AAAAARRGH!" exclaims Action Steve.

    "Calm down!" complains Biggus Mikus. "Haven't you seen a giant crab before?"

    Action Steve turns to see the toilet god standing on a giant seashell. Two Mermaids sit by his side, smiling beatifically. Their skin is blue-green. Their red hair is tangled with seaweed. Their tails hang over the shell into the water. Water flows upwards underneath the shell, keeping it aloft. "Get on chumps!" commands Biggus Mikus. "We're getting the hades out of here!" As our heroes scramble onto the giant seashell Biggus Mikus lets go of his plunger scepter. It simply floats in the air beside him. Then with the sound of several tons of granite hitting pavement from a great height, Biggus Mikus slams his fists together. A shower of sparks fly from his hands as the god begins to glow with a golden light.

    One of the god's hands remains as a fist. The other forms the shape of scissors. Action Steve mouths incredulously, roshambo?

    "ROCK SMASHES SCISSORS!" exclaims the god. "TIDAL WAVE!!!!"

    Action Steve and Action Raptor look at each other and hold onto the shell as hard as they can.

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