Thursday, April 1, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Escape!"

    In our last episode the little known ancient Greek god of toiletries, Biggus Mikus, was locked in a secret laboratory along with Action Steve and Action Raptor. Using his plunger scepter, Biggus Mikus caused all the toilets in the building to overflow like no toilets had before! The water level on every floor of the high rise was five feet, and water was rushing through the halls and offices like white water rapids! Water had burst into the lab and was flowing into the cages hanging from the ceiling that held the god and The Action Duo!

    Then Action Steve noticed what at first looked like a giant log floating toward him, until he saw the eye stalks. Our hero was at a loss for words, until the giant crab claw rushed at him!

    "AAAAARRGH!" exclaims Action Steve.

    "Calm down!" complains Biggus Mikus. "Haven't you seen a giant crab before?"

    Action Steve turns to see the toilet god standing on a giant seashell. Two Mermaids sit by his side, smiling beatifically. Their skin is blue-green. Their red hair is tangled with seaweed. Their tails hang over the shell into the water. Water flows upwards underneath the shell, keeping it aloft. "Get on chumps!" commands Biggus Mikus. "We're getting the hades out of here!" As our heroes scramble onto the giant seashell Biggus Mikus lets go of his plunger scepter. It simply floats in the air beside him. Then with the sound of several tons of granite hitting pavement from a great height, Biggus Mikus slams his fists together. A shower of sparks fly from his hands as the god begins to glow with a golden light.

    One of the god's hands remains as a fist. The other forms the shape of scissors. Action Steve mouths incredulously, roshambo?

    "ROCK SMASHES SCISSORS!" exclaims the god. "TIDAL WAVE!!!!"

    Action Steve and Action Raptor look at each other and hold onto the shell as hard as they can.

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