Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Plumbing Problems"

    When we last left Action Steve and Action Raptor they were hanging from cages in an unfamiliar laboratory, having been captured by the super criminal known as Lounatic, and his Action Steve and Action Raptor clones. Hanging from a third cage was one of the Action Duo's old foes, the little known ancient Greek god of toiletries, Biggus Mikus! Using a newly learned magic spell, Action Steve retrieved Biggus Mikus's plunger sceptor for him, without which the the deity of doo doo could not escape his magically sealed prison.

    Now Biggus Mikus points his plunger scepter toward the door. "Alright ya dorks," he says, "You helped me so I'm helping you!" Past the door and down the hall there is a bathroom. The toilet begins to bubble and creek alarmingly. It overflows and water splashes on the ground. The sink also begins to spray more water. Soon water is pouring onto the floor and out into the hall. The toilet and sink are now fountains, more and more water escapes from them, much more than anyone would say is possible. Now water is pouring out of the toilet as if from a broken fire hydrant! Out in the hall and in the lab, the water level is quickly reaching a foot. Employees are coming out of their offices and their cubes. The fire alarm goes off and the sprinklers set in, but the water coming from the ceiling is heavier than expected, like a heavy rainstorm.

    Now the bathroom door bursts open! A torrent of water pours out. This is no ordinary plumbing problem! The halls are now white water rapids! Employees are being swept away! Some are attempting to use cubicle walls as flotation devices. Others are taking refuges on counters and high shelves! Action Steve and Action Raptor look out the small window on the lab door in amazement. The water level is high in the lab but higher in the hallway. Waves continue to hit the laboratory door until it breaks. Like a flash flood, a strong current of waters gushes into the room, surely ruining all the laboratory equipment!

    "Thoooaruch!" Action Raptor nudges Action Steve to point out...

    "Fish!" exclaims Action Steve. "There's fish! and sand! and sea shells!"

    "Sea shells are superior to toilet paper!" proclaims the god of toiletries. "Soon you and all mankind will be forced to the true way of toiletries!"

    Action Steve notices what at first looks like a giant log floating toward him, until he notices the eye stalks. Our hero is at a loss for words, until the giant crab claw rushes at him!


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