Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "The Inevitable Hero-Villain Team-Up!"

    In our last episode, Action Steve and his saurian companion, Action Raptor, were hanging in cages from the ceiling of a secret genetics laboratory. Their only other companion was their fellow prisoner and nemesis of old, Biggus Mikus! Biggus Mikus was the little known ancient Greek god of toiletries, currently hanging from a cage just like the one's that house our two heroes, but magically sealed to keep a god within it's bars. On the other side of the room lies an artifact of great power, Biggus Mikus's plunger scepter!

    When Action Steve noticed it he asked, "Biggus Mikus, would you be able to get us out of here if you had your scepter?"

    "How are you going to do that?" asked the diabolical deity, "It's easily 3 yards away!"

    This was true. The scepter was too far to reach. Even if Action Steve were to swing his cage back and forth until it swung as far toward it as it could go, it would be no use. Also, as Biggus Mikus had surely deduced, Action Steve had been stripped of all his gadgets, his keys and wallet, his Action Ukulele, even his shoes with the retractable roller skates!

    "Never mind how just now. If I can get your scepter to you will you get us out?" asked Action Steve.

    "Sure! Just cast a magic spell to get it over here and I'll free the three of us!" Biggus Mikus replied mockingly.

    "Ok," replied Action Steve. And to Biggus Mikus's astonishment, Action Steve begins to cast a spell which causes the plunger scepter to float above the counter where it was resting! An eerie glow surrounds the scepter as it floats toward Biggus Mikus's cage, a glow which gets brighter and brighter and brighter until...

    SLPAAAING! A blinding flash of light emanates from the scepter and it falls to the ground!

    "No ya newb!" chides the Titan of Toilets, "It's magical! Right? So you can't work against that, you gotta use the magic of the item in your spell! Otherwise they'll just keep fighting each other until that happens, or worse!"

    "Ok," replies Action Steve, who is actually grateful for any learning he can receive, even if it's from a villain, "I'll do that." Action Steve tries again. This time a stream of light emanates from the scepter to Action Steve's hands as he casts the spell. In seconds the scepter is within Biggus Mikus's hands, who hungrily snatches at it.

    "Ok dorks!" says a newly empowered Biggus Mikus, "You helped me out so I'm gonna help you too." With this Biggus Mikus points his scepter, plunger end out, towards the door to the lab. Past this door and down a hall, a toilet begins to burble and gurgle alarmingly.
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