Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Law

Action Steve and Action Raptor are walking out of their favorite Halloween themed ice cream shop, The Freezing Slab.

"Mmmmmmm, yum!" Action Steve tells Action Raptor, who nods his head as he licks his ice cream cone.

"Thaaauutccchcchchcch!" agrees Action Raptor.

The Action Duo walk walk past a few man sized mutant potatoes eating fish and chips outside of a restaurant, "Hey guys!" greets Action Steve.

"Hiya!" the bunch of mutant potatoes reply.

As the two walk to The Super Action Vehicle they are greeted by none other than The Mighty Pineapple and the Pineapple Patrol, who stand between the two Action Heroes and the Super Action Vehicle!

"Action Steve, would you come with us? We have a few questions about your involvment with The Thrill Seeker. Animal control will confiscate your animal."

Action Steve is stunned, "My..."


"That's right! Action Raptor isn't 'an animal'! He's just as much a person as you or I! And has helped save the city countless times!" Action Steve protests.

"You have my word that Action Raptor will be well cared for. Now please come with me," orders The Mighty Pineapple


"That's right!" agrees Action Steve, "Action Raptor has earned the right to due process! You're going to arrest the both of us or neither of us!"

"You're resisting arrest?" one of The Pineapple Patrol asks with an eager grin.

"Easy officer. You are a member of The Hulaville Police Force. You do not grin at the prospect of forcibly detaining a suspect." says The Mighty Pineapple.

"Wow, you're really taking this seriously. Mighty Pineapple, will you let Action Raptor go if he promises to go directly to The Cold War Cafe?"

She seems to consider it, but then shakes her head. "You're not in a position to negotiate. You are a suspect. I am going to arrest you and this animal will be put in a cage. Now are you coming quietly?"

Action Steve says, in a strained quiet voice, staring directly at The Mighty Pineapple, "I don't think I can."

"Pineapple Patrol!" yells The Mighty Pineapple in anticipation of a battle.

Just as the poop is about to hit the propeller, everyone freezes! Action Steve looks around. Birds are hovering motionless in midair. Trees are slightly bent from the force of wind but don't move. Leaves are stuck in the air. Time has stopped!

Action Steve, who was about to grab his Action-lele and try to bean The Mighty Pineapple on the head, relaxes. "Oh," he says.

"Thk-k-k-k-k," says Action Raptor.

"Guess so," Action Steve Replies. "Hey Chronotron! What's going on?" In answer to Action Steve's query, a metallic form shimmers into existence near The Super Action Vehicle! It's Chronotron The Chronobot master of space and time! Larger and taller than a car is lengthwise, Chronotron's boxy metal shape looms over the pair of Action Heroes. Looking much more like a robot from a 1950's B movie than anything from modern cinema, Chronotron The Chronobot has a giant clock on his front torso, a fitting decoration for he is the master of time and space itself!*

"Greetings to you, Action Alliance," booms Chronotron The Chronobot, "I wonder if this is the universe in which you feel you want to go to another universe to escape law enforcement. Or are you the Action Steve that decides to let himself get arrested?"

"Why?" asks, Action Steve, "What happens if I get arrested?"

"Anything can happen, anything always happens"

From The Pineapple Patrol's point of view, Action Steve, Action Raptor, and The Super Action Vehicle have just vanished in a flash of light! The Mighty Pineapple and her Pineapple Patrol look around, in surprise and confusion. The Mighty Pineapple slaps her thighs and yells loudly, "Damnit!"

*Also, it's Fresh Yo! Word to your mother!

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