Friday, November 20, 2009

Introducing Pimp Racer!

It's night time in south central Hulaville and a liquor store is being robbed! 3 men are pointing shot guns at a very nervous attendant. A piece of paper with the words "If you plan to shoplift, please let us know." written on it is taped to the cash register.

"Hurry up!" shouts one of the robbers.

"Sh-sure.." The attendant does his best under trying circumstances to get the men out as soon as soon as possible.

"Gentlemen, didn't your mothers ever tell you that stealing is wrong?" All three turn to look at a man in a dark purple and red racing outfit standing in front of the isle offering chips, dip, and other snacks. The fluorescent lights reflect harshly on his mirror sunglasses. Pimp Racer sports a classic purple pimp hat, though it's brim is much smaller, as is the feather, giving the man a more classy look.

"It's Pimp Racer! Kill that son of a--" before the thug can complete his sentence, the valiant crime fighter known as Pimp Racer interrupts him by throwing a jar of kimchi into his face! His shotgun fires accidentally, blowing a hole into the floor. Before the other two can react, Pimp Racer jumps and scissor kicks the other two in their respective noggins, knocking them both down and out. The first thug, makes a run for it! Pimp Racer quickly disarms the remaining two thugs and cuffs them to a support beam. He places a few large bills on the counter for the attendant.

"For the floor," Pimp Racer explains before going after the runaway criminal.

Pimp Racer quickly but stylishly slides into his Custom Luxury Sports Car and races after the criminal's old used station wagon. The thief screeches his tires as he turns into onto another street. Pimp Racer is thankful that the road is clear at this time of night and easily corners and catches up to the much slower, older car. He needs to end this fast so no one gets hurt. But that's just fine, Pimp Racer is all about fast. He gets behind the old car. On Pimp Racer's dashboard is a large touch screen. He hits a few buttons and two guns pop out of either side of The Car's hood. "Nets," he tells his on board computer, then pulls two triggers on his steering wheel. Two harpoons shoot over the car, their lines trailing a net between them, capturing the thug! Pimp Racer hits the brakes, then shifts in reverse. He quickly presses a few buttons, and 4 grappling hooks shoot out of the back of Pimp Racer's Car latching onto two telephone poles, a grate, and the corner of a building. The tires screech as the two cars fight each other for dominance. One desperately trying to escape forward, the other forcefully holding it's place in reverse. Pimp Racer speaks to his car's voice interface again. "EMP." The net lights up in a blinding flash and the station wagon stops. It's engine is dead.

The thug is in full panic. This was supposed to be an easy job. Hardly even a job really. Just a liquor store. It's turned into a nightmare! Well he wasn't about to let some nut job with a lot of fancy toys take him down. There was still a gun in the glove compartment. He listened as Pimp Racer got out of The Car. He heard footsteps approach slowly. The thug tried to open a door, but the net had melted over it and effectively glued it shut. There was no getting out, but that meant HE couldn't get in. The thug got his pistol ready to shoot through the glass.


Pimp Racer forced his way through the car door on the passenger side feet first! And has kicked the pistol out of the thugs hands! Pimp Racer now drags the criminal out of the car and cuffs him to a street light. It blinks a red hand, but the light's plea for caution has gone unheeded.

The man cuffed to the pole slides down into a sitting position, clearly beaten. "Why the hell are you going after small fry like me! You should be going after Action Steve! He's on the run from the law," he whines.

"Scum like you should know by now that Action Steve fights crime. He's no Criminal." Pimp Racer knows what time it is.

"What if I knew something eh? About the Thrill Seeker? If I told you would you let me go?"

"What would scum like you know about The Thrill Seeker?"

"Let me go."

"I would never let you go. What if you tried robbing another place? I'd be putting people and their livelihood's in danger, but maybe I can offer you something else." Pimp Racer produces a hundred dollar bill! The thug looks at the money suspiciously.

"I don't believe that beating you any more would gets results friend, but as you know, money talks. They call me Pimp Racer, because of my car, my style, and my massive bank accounts." The criminal relaxes and smiles. "You and your friends are going to jail tonight, there's no question about me letting you go. You will to be spending some time behind bars, but maybe that time is a little less if I get you a good lawyer, and maybe it's a little easier if you have a few more cigarettes to barter with. I can make it happen, if you tell me what I want to know. "


"You get part of it now, not enough that it will cause suspicion from the police. If your information leads me to The Thrill Seeker, or to who let him out, there's more coming. What do you say?"

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