Monday, January 18, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Daylight Robbery!"


    In broad daylight, a street facing wall of First Hulaville Bank has exploded outwards! Debris has landed everywhere. Cars are covered in dust. People have been knocked down and injured. A cloud of dust fills the empty hole where the wall had been. The alarm blares on. A black car races toward and then screeches to a halt in front of the new opening. Three figures, all dressed in black, wearing black gloves and ski masks, holding very large guns and larger bags of money, erupt from the smoke and quickly get in the car. The car is already moving just as the last thief gets in.

    The Driver wears all black as well but he isn't wearing a mask. His name Louis "Lounatik" Nguyen, 2nd in command to The Original Mr. E-vil' Manalo. "Any problems?" He asks the 3. They take off their masks as the car easily races across a busy city street. They are two men and one woman.

    "None at all Louis." The woman grins.

    "Good. And I've decided I like Lounatic. Just Lounatic, nothing else. But I'll have none of that spelling things with a 'k' business. Hold on." Lounatic expertly corners into an alley at high speed and parks in an open garage. The door quickly closes. Two serious looking teenage girls in coveralls, goggles, and face masks open the doors for the bank robbers, who quickly remove their guns, bags of money and other personal effects from the car. The two girls proceed to replace the license plates and repaint the car with professional skill. The 4 criminals quickly walk into the safe house and go change. The men in one room. The woman in another. Once changed, they put their clothes in plastic bags and give them to the girls, who are nearly finished with the car.

    Lounatic looks at his watch as the woman watches him. He waits a few minutes and says, "Go." She calmly walks out the front door. There are no police. Everything is calm outside. There's a kid sitting on a curb using his skateboard as a seat. She walks behind him so there is little chance of even the kid identifying her later. Looking at the woman walking away from the safe house, no one would think that she had just robbed a bank. 10 minutes later the girls drive off in the newly painted car. They are no longer in cover alls nor does their manner suggest they are professional criminals. Instead they're dressed and acting very much like normal teenage girls. 15 minutes later another bank robber leaves. 23 minutes pass, the third robber leaves. Lounatic is all alone in the safe house, on the phone. "Have the car meet me at the street corner near the house. Be there in 10 minutes."

    We hear the "yes sir." on the other line. Lounatic made a mental note to not do this again. Robbing banks is very risky. Robbing a series of banks and getting away with it is nigh impossible. But this seemed the best way to get a lot of money in a short period of time. Now that he had it, there were safer ways to make more. There was one more thing to take care of. His boss. Louis hadn't meant to become a henchman for The Original Mr. E-vil Elli Manalo. He had been down on his luck, and the gang had seemed like a good business opportunity. But as he began working for the gang it soon became apparent that Mr. E-vil Elli Manalo wasn't interested in making or even taking money. Everything in his life seemed to center around that fool Action Steve.

    Action Steve fought giant potatoes in a flying car using a musical instrument as a weapon. That clown wasn't a threat. He was ridiculous, and easy to avoid so long as you didn't seek him out or inadvertently dress like a tuber. But Mr. E-vil seemed obsessed. No, Action Steve was not important and The Original Mr. E-vil Elli Manalo had to go. Lounatic hit his speed dial.

    "Louis 'Lounatik' Nguyen!", The Original Mr. E-vil Elli Manalo answered. "Where have you been?"   

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