Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This episode: "Questions and Answers!"

Action Steve remembered when he first encountered The Intention, as Chronotron The Chronobot calls it. He had been walking around Hulaville in what he would come to call his Action Steve costume, but just then it was simply a costume. Steve had made a blue mask and cape and bought some gloves to match and went walking around in super hero garb just for fun. As he was walking along trying to see if he could play the ukulele with his gloves on Steve spotted some men in a side street. One of them was pointing a gun at the other and threatening him. The sensible thing would have been to call the police, to run away. And indeed in an infinite number of universes, this is exactly what Steve did. Most of those Steves never became a super hero. This Steve, the one that at that moment became Action Steve, threw his Ukulele at the man holding the gun. Action Steve knew, before the instrument hit the man's head, that it would knock him out. The instrument should not have been able to do that, but the man with the gun dropped to the ground. His friends made to grab it but Action Steve kicked the gun away and punched another man right in the face, knocking him out as well!

Up to this point, Action Steve had never been in a fight in his life, but it felt completely right, he was in control, in the zone, as clich├ęd as it sounded, there was no other phrase for it. The intended victim had run away but the remaining thug was angry. He apparently didn't care if his intended victims were probably already calling the police. He was also much bigger and stronger than Steve. The man caught Steve in a headlock and it was then that Steve began to realize it might have been foolish to rush at a group of thugs. He didn't know how to fight. He was dressed like a comic book super hero and was now about to die or at least get a serious thrashing. Fear overtook him...

Then there was an explosion. The nearby brick wall had erupted in dust. Action Steve used it as a distraction to get loose from the thug's grip and get some distance. As the dust cleared Steve could see clearly in letters carved into the wall a foot and a half high: "Action Steve, you can do this and more. Together we will tip the balance."

The thug went from angry and menacing to nervous. "It's a trick!" he yelled.

But Action Steve knew it was no trick. He knew that someone or something wanted to help him capture this man and bring him to justice. Action Steve Picked up his cracked and nearly broken Ukulele and before the man could react, Action Steve smashed the instrument over the man's head, knocking him unconscious.

"It was a similar story with me," replied The Mighty Pine Cone. "Of course I already knew how to fight and was a bit younger than you, but the mysterious intention made itself known to me as I was fighting some local brigands. As it did you. It could help me in battle, turn fortune to my side, and help me in other ways if only I was willing to protect the weak, defend freedom, and fight only for justice. It asked for help to "tip the balance" as it likes to say. Not too long after that, Chronotron The Chronobot here came to help me as he does many heroes throughout The Multiverse. I've also recruited those of a like mind and formed The Order Of The Pine Cone."

"I've got The Action Alliance," replied Action Steve.

"I do not suppose it is important that you accept the true nature of the multiverse Action Steve," said Chronotron The Chronobot, a huge boxy robot and master of time and space, "We both work alongside The Intention as I've come to refer to it because we both believe in helping people, and we believe that The Multiverse ought to be safer, fairer, and more just."

"Chronotron, if you and These heroes will assent to it, I'd like to train Action Steve and Action Raptor a little in the ways of magic and of combat before they go." said The Mighty Pine Cone. "Does their world even have any magic?"

"It does," responded Chronotron, "but it is hard to get to, unpredictable, and much of it lies dormant."

"I'd love to hang around and learn more. What about you A.R.?"


"Thrrrrrraaaaak!" Action Raptor, Action Steve's feathered dinosaur pal, nodded happily.

"We should also ask The Super Action Vehicle," said Action Steve. "Oh yeah I would like to talk to you about him Mighty Pine Cone, but don't we need to get back?" Action Steve turned to Chronotron, "Or do you propose to transport us to the correct time as well as place no matter how much time we've spent here Chronotron?"

"I will take you to one of the Hulaville's most similar to the one you remember, where little time seems to have passed and one that also will most need your help in the near term," Chronotron replied.

"Ok, I guess we're going to be your guests for a while Mighty Pine Cone, We'd love to learn anything you can teach us," said Action Steve.

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