Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This episode: "Astonishment!"

To the Astonishment of both dragon and human alike, Action Steve has defeated a dragon in single combat! The large dragon was trying to get up but was too groggy from a face full of gas to do so. Action Steve had given it a dose that would have knocked out a human for a day. Besides The Dragon's legs had been tied up. The fight was over.

Action Steve walks over to the Super Action Vehicle with no objection from the crowd. He speaks to The Super Action vehicle, "Super Action Vehicle, did you help me just now?" The Super Action Vehicle shook in a way that could only be interpreted as a nod. "And you helped us before. You helped us try to get away?" The Super Action Vehicle nodded again. "I suspect that you have magically become a person, or been possessed by a creature wishing to help me. In either case, would you like to join the Action Alliance and fight along side us in the name of justice?" The Super Action vehicled transformed into it's walking mode and used one of it's arms to salute right above his windshield. The Dragons begin clapping and roaring as before.

The humans, Action Steve observed, were not as enthusiastic. "He just used a trick!" yelled one of Sir Sarah's soldiers, "It was his magical weapon! Just some magic powder! He didn't defeat the creature on his own at all!" There was a general murmuring of agreement among the humans and a few shouts of "That's right!". Action Steve played a few notes on his Action Ukulele. It needed tuning. Then took a quick step forward toward the speaker and looked him straight in the eye.

"You think you could do what I just did? Really? Take my uklele, any of you, and fight one of those dragons, I dare ya. I'll even give you a quick tutorial on how the damn thing works. No takers?"

None of the human's moved to speak. Action Steve looked to Sir Sarah and Neville The Great. He could see they were wondering where their soldiers were. There was supposed to be an ambush happening. Action Steve was wondering this himself. That was the whole reason for the fight just now. Action Steve was meant to be a distraction, not the main event. A small microphone pops out of Action Steve's mask. "Hold onto that thought." Action Steve speaks into the microphone, "Yeah?" Sir Sarah commands her army to stay still at a gesture. By all indications, the dragons are having a wonderful time. Many are coming to congratulate Action Steve.


"Hey Thanks, I appreciate that."

"Thooooooouac?" asks one of the smaller, just a little larger than man sized dragons.

"Oh he or she'll be fine" replies Action Steve, referring to his dragon opponent, who was even now being helped by friends to sit up. They were all talking animatedly to each other about how good the battle had been.

"Tuaarc!" replied the dragon to Action Steve.

"That's your wife? She's a damn good fighter."

"Theeeeeek Theeeeeek!"

"Just a sec, Hey Action Raptor! Glad to hear you've escaped. And I hear that the dragon royalty Parius and Edena are now out of Human custody. Parius and Edena? Really? Wait til we tell Action Pre and Edna. It's a small multiverse after all. Oh and you say I'm not to worry about the human's planned ambush as it was thwarted by The Order of The Pine Cone and the dragons knew about in anyway." The Dragons that were now surrounding Action Steve were nodding smugly. Action Steve looks meaningfully at Sir Sarah and Neville and smiles. "No I was just repeating what you said to Sarah and Nev for dramatic effect." The Great Sorcerer Neville looks incredulous. He mouths the word "Nev?" to Sir Sarah but she waives him silent and moves to leave. It seemed to occur to most of the humans that now that Action Steve had befriended the dragons, who had thwarted their ambush before it got started with the help of that wizard and dragon sympathizer The Mighty Pine Cone, and now that Action Steve apparently had a giant metal golem seemingly under his command, that they ought to reevaluate their strategic position. The humans begin to leave under the friendliest terms possible.

"What's that? Lord Rudolf escaped too? Is everyone ok? Yeah, even so we should track him down. I might be able to call on these dragons for help." He looks at a few of the dragons who nod affirmingly. The dragons aren't at all confused by his phone call, they must have some equivalent here. Some of them begin instructing others to search for Lord Rudolf, who was a dangerous killer. "Hey guess what? Not only did I defeat a very skilled Dragon warrior in single combat, but it looks like the The Super Action Vehicle is possessed-- hangon on" The SAV shakes his "head" no. "No, wait, has become alive. We better talk with some Dragon's who know magic. Not sure I trust any humans here to give us a straight answer. gimme a second.." Action Steve motions to Sir Sarah and Neville The Great. "Sir Sarah. Neville will you help us capture Lord Rudolf?" Action Steve asks his two enemies in such a sincere manner that the two don't quite know how to react.

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