Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "The Hospitality of Selene"
When last we left the Hulaville Police Detective and former super villain known as The Mighty Pineapple, she had been investigating the disappearance of The Senator, a super villain recently revealed to be an unnaturally long lived sorcerer and killer of that other vile villain, The Thrill Seeker! Thanks to Action Steve's recently learned magic, he and his comrades were able to trace the last known location of the senator and a phone call he made at that location. The Mighty Pineapple had been dispatched to the destination of that last phone call, a large corporate building, and was looking it over when she was greeted by Ronald Brown, chief administrative officer at Selene. When he offered her a tour of the building, she accepted.
"Selene is interested in bringing back research and development to the private sector," said Brown as they walked The Mighty Pineapple through yet another laboratory. "Partnering with universities is all well and good but we believe we can provide unique opportunities for profitable discoveries. Discoveries that we will own entirely." The mighty Pineapple had originally been impressed, but well, this was getting boring. She was being taken to lab after lab and office after office and not really being given the chance to find out about the cool stuff people were actually working on. She had seen some interesting robotics work, a field she has particular interest in, but had been quickly shooed away with Ronald's corporate smile. "Secrecy is important in the business world. I'm sure you understand." When he'd offered The Mighty Pineapple a drink in his office she'd jumped at the chance.
As the Mighty Pineapple is being led to Ronald Brown's office for a drink, Action Steve and Action Raptor are being held captive in the secret underground laboratories of the new Selene building. The Action Duo are being held aloft in small cages in a lab filled with large boxy equipment, robots fiddling with hundreds of test tubes, and other equipment that Action Steve and Action Raptor, due to their time spent in Action Pre's mountain laboratory, recognize as equipment used in genetic experiements.
"Bring back memories old buddy?" Action Steve asks Action Raptor.
"Raaaaaaaauuuwwwchik!" says Action Raptor in affirmation.
Action Steve did not always have a prehistoric crime-fighting creature for a best friend. Not soon after Action Steve's first adventure as a super hero, the mysterious Chronotron The Chronobot enlisted the help of our ukulele wielding hero to fight against The Man From The Future. The Man From The Future was a time traveling villain whose secret lair was in the late Cretaceous. As soon Action Steve arrived in that era, The Man From The Future captured and caged our hero. In the cage next to him was a feathered dinosaur that evil doers in this era would learn to fear, it was the dinosaur that would become Action Raptor!
Yes, being caged up again did indeed bring back memories.
"Yeah this brings back memories," said another voice, "memories of when I kicked your sorry butts!"
What's this?! Who's this other voice? Another prisoner? Action Raptor and Action Steve turn to see Biggus Mikus, little known Greek god of toiletries, and one of Action Steve's deadliest enemies!
"Selene is interested in bringing back research and development to the private sector," said Brown as they walked The Mighty Pineapple through yet another laboratory. "Partnering with universities is all well and good but we believe we can provide unique opportunities for profitable discoveries. Discoveries that we will own entirely." The mighty Pineapple had originally been impressed, but well, this was getting boring. She was being taken to lab after lab and office after office and not really being given the chance to find out about the cool stuff people were actually working on. She had seen some interesting robotics work, a field she has particular interest in, but had been quickly shooed away with Ronald's corporate smile. "Secrecy is important in the business world. I'm sure you understand." When he'd offered The Mighty Pineapple a drink in his office she'd jumped at the chance.
***
"Bring back memories old buddy?" Action Steve asks Action Raptor.
"Raaaaaaaauuuwwwchik!" says Action Raptor in affirmation.
Action Steve did not always have a prehistoric crime-fighting creature for a best friend. Not soon after Action Steve's first adventure as a super hero, the mysterious Chronotron The Chronobot enlisted the help of our ukulele wielding hero to fight against The Man From The Future. The Man From The Future was a time traveling villain whose secret lair was in the late Cretaceous. As soon Action Steve arrived in that era, The Man From The Future captured and caged our hero. In the cage next to him was a feathered dinosaur that evil doers in this era would learn to fear, it was the dinosaur that would become Action Raptor!
Yes, being caged up again did indeed bring back memories.
"Yeah this brings back memories," said another voice, "memories of when I kicked your sorry butts!"
What's this?! Who's this other voice? Another prisoner? Action Raptor and Action Steve turn to see Biggus Mikus, little known Greek god of toiletries, and one of Action Steve's deadliest enemies!
Monday, February 22, 2010
The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "The Mid-Air Rescue!"
In our last episode, two member's of Action Steve's Action Alliance, Action Pre and The Incapacitator were on top of a skyscraper. They were trying to save their pal, The Super Action Vehicle, now in dirigible mode, from crashing to his demise!
"I know this might sound crazy, but trust me," explains Action Pre, "That car is a person, we have to save him!"
"Ok, but what do we do? It's getting away from us and losing altitude too fast!" answered The Incapacitator.
"Stop asking questions and get on my back!"
"What?"
"Just do it!"
The Incapacitator obeys, "Hold on!" exclaims Action Pre as two rockets expand out of the sides of his lower legs. With The incapacitator on his back, using his rocket legs, Action Pre leaps toward The Super Action Vehicle! Then, as the two heroes still racing upwards--
"Ready?!" asks Action Pre.
"For what?"
By way of an answer, Action Pre hurls The Incapacitator toward The Super Action Vehicle!
AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaAAaagh---OOMPHGH!
The incapacitator has landed on the top of The Super Action Vehicle's dirigible mode balloon! Choking on the plume of smoke coming from it's engine he scrambles down and into the driver's seat.
"BeAap!" says The S.A.V. The Entire car is shaking and The incapacitator feels the S.A.V. continue to accelerate downwards.
"Ok pal. Nice to meet you. I'm here to help." says The Incapacitator in a voice that sounds much more certain than he actually feels. He puts on his seat belt. Maybe The S.A.V.'s just too hurt to steer himself, thought The Incapacitator. He takes the wheel and steers clear of a building before they both crash. Then he avoids another building. He swerves and barely misses a helicopter!
The incapacitator tries to remember the last time he'd been in this car, before it had come to life. Where was it? Ah! Here! He flips a switch and the engine is sprayed in water. The fire is out! He flips another switch and a huge parachute billows out from behind! The S.A.V. is slowing down!
The S.A.V. lands softly in Eisner Park where the two heroes, one flesh and one badly damaged metal, are met by Action Pre, using his leg rockets to land softly, and Detective Ace Malloy in his patrol car. The S.A.V.'s mechanics, Chef Patrick and Edna The Roller Derby Server come out of the passenger's seat and start taking care of The S.A.V.
Action Pre walks over to The Incapacitator, who is still in the driver's seat, and says, "What a reunion eh?"
"I know this might sound crazy, but trust me," explains Action Pre, "That car is a person, we have to save him!"
"Ok, but what do we do? It's getting away from us and losing altitude too fast!" answered The Incapacitator.
"Stop asking questions and get on my back!"
"What?"
"Just do it!"
The Incapacitator obeys, "Hold on!" exclaims Action Pre as two rockets expand out of the sides of his lower legs. With The incapacitator on his back, using his rocket legs, Action Pre leaps toward The Super Action Vehicle! Then, as the two heroes still racing upwards--
"Ready?!" asks Action Pre.
"For what?"
By way of an answer, Action Pre hurls The Incapacitator toward The Super Action Vehicle!
AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaAAaagh---OOMPHGH!
The incapacitator has landed on the top of The Super Action Vehicle's dirigible mode balloon! Choking on the plume of smoke coming from it's engine he scrambles down and into the driver's seat.
"BeAap!" says The S.A.V. The Entire car is shaking and The incapacitator feels the S.A.V. continue to accelerate downwards.
"Ok pal. Nice to meet you. I'm here to help." says The Incapacitator in a voice that sounds much more certain than he actually feels. He puts on his seat belt. Maybe The S.A.V.'s just too hurt to steer himself, thought The Incapacitator. He takes the wheel and steers clear of a building before they both crash. Then he avoids another building. He swerves and barely misses a helicopter!
The incapacitator tries to remember the last time he'd been in this car, before it had come to life. Where was it? Ah! Here! He flips a switch and the engine is sprayed in water. The fire is out! He flips another switch and a huge parachute billows out from behind! The S.A.V. is slowing down!
The S.A.V. lands softly in Eisner Park where the two heroes, one flesh and one badly damaged metal, are met by Action Pre, using his leg rockets to land softly, and Detective Ace Malloy in his patrol car. The S.A.V.'s mechanics, Chef Patrick and Edna The Roller Derby Server come out of the passenger's seat and start taking care of The S.A.V.
Action Pre walks over to The Incapacitator, who is still in the driver's seat, and says, "What a reunion eh?"
Friday, February 19, 2010
The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Battle In The Sky!"
In our last episode Action Pre was just starting his concert in Susan B. Anthony Auditorium when he saw The Super Action Vehicle in the distance being menaced by six flying cybernetic raptors! Our hero leaped from the stage and onto a nearby building, and leaping in this fashion from the top of one skyscraper to another, Action Pre gets close to Action Steve's means of transportation, and friend, The Super Action Vehicle!
During Action Steve's adventure in the magical land of Eranor, The Super Action Vehicle, a flying car from the future, had magically gained intelligence and become a person. After arriving back in Hulaville, The Super Action Vehicle, or S.A.V., had taken to flying around Hulaville on it's own. It must have been on one of these flights tonight when it was attacked by these creatures.
Just as Action Pre begins his plan of attack, a grapple line is shot from a nearby skyscraper and attaches itself to a gargoyle near Action Pre. Then our hero hears the sound of someone speeding across the zip line. A man, dressed in grey body armor is attached to the line with a harness and is shooting two pistols at the flying raptors. For each pistol that hits it's target, a pellet of gas explodes. The man is aiming for their faces. Whatever is in those pellets bothers them a lot! They screech and land on ledges as they desperately rub at their faces or try to spit!
The man disconnects from the line and rolls to the ground near Action Pre. "Well I'll be!" exclaims Action Pre, grinning, "you are not someone I expected to see!" The two men quickly shake hands and greet eachother like the old friends they are. For this man is a long time member of The Action Alliance!
"The Incapacitator at your service." answers the man in gray as he grins back. The two members of The Action Alliance turn back to The Super Action Vehicle, who is still in trouble! The Super Action Vehicle is in dirigible mode but is still speeding down to street level too fast. "I don't see a driver," says The Incapacitator.
"I know this might sound crazy, but trust me," explains Action Pre, "That car is a person, we have to save him!"
"Ok, but what do we do? It's getting away from us and losing altitude too fast!" answered The Incapacitator.
"Stop asking questions and get on my back!"
"What?"
"Just do it!"
The Incapacitator obeys, "Hold on!" exclaims Action Pre as two rockets expand out of the sides of his lower legs. With The incapacitator on his back, using his rocket legs, Action Pre leaps toward The Super Action Vehicle! Then, as the two heroes still racing upwards--
"Ready?!" asks Action Pre.
"For what?"
By way of an answer, Action Pre hurls The Incapacitator toward The Super Action Vehicle!
During Action Steve's adventure in the magical land of Eranor, The Super Action Vehicle, a flying car from the future, had magically gained intelligence and become a person. After arriving back in Hulaville, The Super Action Vehicle, or S.A.V., had taken to flying around Hulaville on it's own. It must have been on one of these flights tonight when it was attacked by these creatures.
Just as Action Pre begins his plan of attack, a grapple line is shot from a nearby skyscraper and attaches itself to a gargoyle near Action Pre. Then our hero hears the sound of someone speeding across the zip line. A man, dressed in grey body armor is attached to the line with a harness and is shooting two pistols at the flying raptors. For each pistol that hits it's target, a pellet of gas explodes. The man is aiming for their faces. Whatever is in those pellets bothers them a lot! They screech and land on ledges as they desperately rub at their faces or try to spit!
The man disconnects from the line and rolls to the ground near Action Pre. "Well I'll be!" exclaims Action Pre, grinning, "you are not someone I expected to see!" The two men quickly shake hands and greet eachother like the old friends they are. For this man is a long time member of The Action Alliance!
"The Incapacitator at your service." answers the man in gray as he grins back. The two members of The Action Alliance turn back to The Super Action Vehicle, who is still in trouble! The Super Action Vehicle is in dirigible mode but is still speeding down to street level too fast. "I don't see a driver," says The Incapacitator.
"I know this might sound crazy, but trust me," explains Action Pre, "That car is a person, we have to save him!"
"Ok, but what do we do? It's getting away from us and losing altitude too fast!" answered The Incapacitator.
"Stop asking questions and get on my back!"
"What?"
"Just do it!"
The Incapacitator obeys, "Hold on!" exclaims Action Pre as two rockets expand out of the sides of his lower legs. With The incapacitator on his back, using his rocket legs, Action Pre leaps toward The Super Action Vehicle! Then, as the two heroes still racing upwards--
"Ready?!" asks Action Pre.
"For what?"
By way of an answer, Action Pre hurls The Incapacitator toward The Super Action Vehicle!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Action Pre: In Concert!"
Action Pre is greeting his fans at the giant Susan B. Anthony Auditorium! Thousands of fans are cheering as the lights come on revealing a drummer, guitarists, a horn section, and Action Pre's DJ and back up singers!
The band begins to play and the back up singers begin to sing as Action Pre speaks into his microphone. "I've lived here all my life but you love me still. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! Hulaville!" The cheering crowd begins to scream! Thousands of cameras flash. Some fans hold a sign half a row wide that reads "We Love Action Pre." Other signs say "I Voted For Action Pre", referring to Action Pre's recent bid for Mayor. The crowd are jumping up and down. Men are yelling at the top of their lungs, women are screaming. On stage, Action Pre and the other performers bow graciously.
Action Pre motions to his back up singers. "They sing melodies so wondrous as to drive you insane, please welcome my backup singers, Leilah, Laini, and Loraine!" At the mention of their names the music increases in volume and tempo and another wave of screams as well as a few hoots and hollers are heard as Action Pre's backup singers wave and blow kisses to the crowd.
The music gets quiet and anticipatory as Action Pre continues, "And please let me introduce my new band: the fanatical!" drums and guitars punctuate Action Pre's adjectives, "the bombastical!" more musical punctuation, "Fantastical Botanical!" The crowd cheers as the band plays in earnest. The horn section is blowing, the guitarists are giving it their all. The members of Fantastical Botanical are all wearing plant themed clothing. The horn section are wearing suits an ties that look like tree trunks. The shirtless, headband wearing, drummer wears a wig of vegatation meant to mimic dreadlocks but still be recognizable as leaves and vines. He gives his all in a display of percussive virtuosity. Then the band plays quietly giving a feeling of anticipation.
"Also I'd like to introduce my DJ! Dr. DJ Drinks-a-lot!" DJ Drinks-a-lot begins to manipulate his turntables (decorated with a tiki bar theme), and his nobs and dials furiously. He then takes a big gulp from a large cup. "The good doctor assures me," says Action Pre, theatrically breathing into the microphone as he paces the stage in the manner of a stand up comedian, "That he's on chocolate milkshakes till the end of the show." DJ Drinks-a-lot shakes his cup theatrically and smiles. A few hoots and hollers indicate that the fans whole heartedly approved of spiked milkshakes.
"And last!
But not least!
Hey! It's meeeeeeeee!
Actiooooooooon Preeeeeeeeeeee!"
The entire audience is on their feet, cheering, screaming, yelling and jumping up and down. Just then Leilah motions to Loraine and points to the sky. Concern shows on both of their faces. They get Action Pre's Attention.
"Wait a minute!" Action Pre suddenly looks very serious but the crowd keeps on cheering. "Hold on everyone." This quiets the crowd some as he uses his genetically enhanced eyes to see far in the distance...
Why it's Action Steve's flying car and magical partner in crimed fighting, The Super Action Vehicle! And he's being menaced by a swarm of rocket powered cyber raptors! Unfeathered, reptilian, clones of Action Raptor are flying by means of small rockets and metal wings! They circle The Super Action Vehicle. They bite and scratch and shoot at him. The Super Action Vehicle does his best to dodge but he's getting hit! The S.A.V.'s in trouble!
"Ladies and gentlemen, I hate to cut this short, but there is something I must report. Someone's attacking The S.A.V. This looks like a job for Action Pre!" and with that, Action Pre takes a mighty leap to help his friend and fellow member of The Action Alliance!
The band begins to play and the back up singers begin to sing as Action Pre speaks into his microphone. "I've lived here all my life but you love me still. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! Hulaville!" The cheering crowd begins to scream! Thousands of cameras flash. Some fans hold a sign half a row wide that reads "We Love Action Pre." Other signs say "I Voted For Action Pre", referring to Action Pre's recent bid for Mayor. The crowd are jumping up and down. Men are yelling at the top of their lungs, women are screaming. On stage, Action Pre and the other performers bow graciously.
Action Pre motions to his back up singers. "They sing melodies so wondrous as to drive you insane, please welcome my backup singers, Leilah, Laini, and Loraine!" At the mention of their names the music increases in volume and tempo and another wave of screams as well as a few hoots and hollers are heard as Action Pre's backup singers wave and blow kisses to the crowd.
The music gets quiet and anticipatory as Action Pre continues, "And please let me introduce my new band: the fanatical!" drums and guitars punctuate Action Pre's adjectives, "the bombastical!" more musical punctuation, "Fantastical Botanical!" The crowd cheers as the band plays in earnest. The horn section is blowing, the guitarists are giving it their all. The members of Fantastical Botanical are all wearing plant themed clothing. The horn section are wearing suits an ties that look like tree trunks. The shirtless, headband wearing, drummer wears a wig of vegatation meant to mimic dreadlocks but still be recognizable as leaves and vines. He gives his all in a display of percussive virtuosity. Then the band plays quietly giving a feeling of anticipation.
"Also I'd like to introduce my DJ! Dr. DJ Drinks-a-lot!" DJ Drinks-a-lot begins to manipulate his turntables (decorated with a tiki bar theme), and his nobs and dials furiously. He then takes a big gulp from a large cup. "The good doctor assures me," says Action Pre, theatrically breathing into the microphone as he paces the stage in the manner of a stand up comedian, "That he's on chocolate milkshakes till the end of the show." DJ Drinks-a-lot shakes his cup theatrically and smiles. A few hoots and hollers indicate that the fans whole heartedly approved of spiked milkshakes.
"And last!
But not least!
Hey! It's meeeeeeeee!
Actiooooooooon Preeeeeeeeeeee!"
The entire audience is on their feet, cheering, screaming, yelling and jumping up and down. Just then Leilah motions to Loraine and points to the sky. Concern shows on both of their faces. They get Action Pre's Attention.
"Wait a minute!" Action Pre suddenly looks very serious but the crowd keeps on cheering. "Hold on everyone." This quiets the crowd some as he uses his genetically enhanced eyes to see far in the distance...
Why it's Action Steve's flying car and magical partner in crimed fighting, The Super Action Vehicle! And he's being menaced by a swarm of rocket powered cyber raptors! Unfeathered, reptilian, clones of Action Raptor are flying by means of small rockets and metal wings! They circle The Super Action Vehicle. They bite and scratch and shoot at him. The Super Action Vehicle does his best to dodge but he's getting hit! The S.A.V.'s in trouble!
"Ladies and gentlemen, I hate to cut this short, but there is something I must report. Someone's attacking The S.A.V. This looks like a job for Action Pre!" and with that, Action Pre takes a mighty leap to help his friend and fellow member of The Action Alliance!
Monday, February 15, 2010
The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "The Mighty Pineapple Ponders Her Next Move"
In our last episode the former super villain and current detective of The Hulaville Police Department known as The Mighty Pineapple was on the trail of the former politician and ancient wizard known as The Senator! The Mighty Pineapple's boss, Detective Ace Malloy, with the help of The Action Alliance, determined that, after magically disappearing, The Senator made a phone call to an office at a new high rise in downtown Hulaville. The Mighty Pineapple is now walking toward that building, her Fruit Smoothie Guitar strapped to her back.
The new high rise had only recently been completed. It wasn't the tallest building in Hulaville, only 30 stories, but it was very shiny and cylindrical. A few men and women were walking in and out of the lobby. Many seemed like ordinary business people. But The Mighty Pineapple could tell there were a few for whom the word "professional" took on an entirely different meaning. The Mighty Pineapple recognized their manner. There was no fear in their eyes. The one of these kind that was nearest to her was walking across the street. She was a teenage girl wearing a black pants suit. The Mighty Pineapple recognized the walk, relaxed and ready to pounce, like a jungle cat. The Mighty Pineapple begins to think that she should have disguised herself.
It wouldn't be hard to recognize The Mighty Pineapple. Her hair is tied and shoots up from the top of her head like the leaves of a pineapple. She's wearing cat's eye spectacles, a cloth jacket that looks as if it came from the radioactive future as envisioned by film makers in the 80's, classic blue jeans, and canvas shoes. She also, as was previously mentioned, is wearing a bright yellow, orange and blue Fruit Smoothie Guitar, which, like Action Steve's Action Ukulele, has extensive modifications for the kind of life she leads.
Ah, well, she was a police officer now. She had two options at this point: either walk up to the front desk and ask to be let in (she was considering it) or watch and wait for something to happen. I suppose I could just have a look around the block, she thought to herself.
"What can I do for you young lady?" The Mighty Pineapple was startled that someone had snuck up on her and turned around to see a blond man in a blue suit and red tie, much like The Senator used to wear. But this couldn't be The Senator, he was younger than she was.
She recovers quickly. "Young lady? You don't look a day over 25."
"My apologies. I am Ronald Brown, chief administrative officer at Selene. We're in that new building over there." he said indicating the building The Mighty Pineapple had been sent to investigate. "And if I'm not mistaken, you are the famous Mighty Pineapple, former head of the now dissolved special police unit named after you, The Pineapple Patrol, and detective for The Hulaville Police Department. Would you be interested in a tour of our new offices?" There was something in his manner that made the offer hard to resist. Maybe it was just because he was cute. Didn't she want to get into the building anyway?
"Sounds interesting," she replied, "lead the way."
The new high rise had only recently been completed. It wasn't the tallest building in Hulaville, only 30 stories, but it was very shiny and cylindrical. A few men and women were walking in and out of the lobby. Many seemed like ordinary business people. But The Mighty Pineapple could tell there were a few for whom the word "professional" took on an entirely different meaning. The Mighty Pineapple recognized their manner. There was no fear in their eyes. The one of these kind that was nearest to her was walking across the street. She was a teenage girl wearing a black pants suit. The Mighty Pineapple recognized the walk, relaxed and ready to pounce, like a jungle cat. The Mighty Pineapple begins to think that she should have disguised herself.
It wouldn't be hard to recognize The Mighty Pineapple. Her hair is tied and shoots up from the top of her head like the leaves of a pineapple. She's wearing cat's eye spectacles, a cloth jacket that looks as if it came from the radioactive future as envisioned by film makers in the 80's, classic blue jeans, and canvas shoes. She also, as was previously mentioned, is wearing a bright yellow, orange and blue Fruit Smoothie Guitar, which, like Action Steve's Action Ukulele, has extensive modifications for the kind of life she leads.
Ah, well, she was a police officer now. She had two options at this point: either walk up to the front desk and ask to be let in (she was considering it) or watch and wait for something to happen. I suppose I could just have a look around the block, she thought to herself.
"What can I do for you young lady?" The Mighty Pineapple was startled that someone had snuck up on her and turned around to see a blond man in a blue suit and red tie, much like The Senator used to wear. But this couldn't be The Senator, he was younger than she was.
She recovers quickly. "Young lady? You don't look a day over 25."
"My apologies. I am Ronald Brown, chief administrative officer at Selene. We're in that new building over there." he said indicating the building The Mighty Pineapple had been sent to investigate. "And if I'm not mistaken, you are the famous Mighty Pineapple, former head of the now dissolved special police unit named after you, The Pineapple Patrol, and detective for The Hulaville Police Department. Would you be interested in a tour of our new offices?" There was something in his manner that made the offer hard to resist. Maybe it was just because he was cute. Didn't she want to get into the building anyway?
"Sounds interesting," she replied, "lead the way."
Friday, February 12, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "The Mighty Pineapple On The Trail!"
In Action Steve's early days, after he had started fighting local criminals, but before he had met his friends Chronotron The Chronobot and Action Raptor, a host of strange people began to challenge Action Steve. These people called themselves super villains. Most of them were even more ridiculous than Action Steve, a man who wears a blue mask and a cape and whose primary weapon is a small musical instrument. Action Steve had once fought The Lords of Death, a gang of teenagers in goth gear; The Magenta Mantis, an overweight 30 year old man who, like Steve, took up costuming and adventuring at a late age but unlike Action Steve chose to do evil; and The Greedy Gopher, a bank robber who robbed banks in a cheap gopher suit.
There were many odd things about Action Steve. One of those things was how he defeated his enemies. He was an undeniably good, if extremely unorthodox, fighter. His fighting style was not unlike his dancing style. Odd, unpredictable, but applied with so much unexpected enthusiasm and energy from a man of his age and weight that most who encounter him either on the dance floor or on the field of battle are completely unprepared. And the man sweats profusely. The word "glisten" could never ever describe the buckets of fluid that poured from Action Steve as he dispatched villains. But back to his fighting, most of the time Action Steve won the day not because he was a decent fighter, but because of his friends and allies. To defeat The Greedy Gopher, for example, Action Steve enlisted the help of some of Hulaville's local fursuit wearing population, who had been tired of all the bad press The Gopher was giving them.
And now I'm caught up in it, thought The Mighty Pineapple as she drove her 1956 Austin Healey-Sprite (painted with a brown and yellow pineapple themed mesh) into a parking lot. She had been one of those original villains. Actually she'd been a villain for much longer than Action Steve had ever been a hero. For years she had embraced her differentness, her inability to fit in, and had taken revenge on the world for not accepting her. But here she was, an accepted member of the Hulaville police force, and publicist for one of her former super hero enemies, Action Pre.
She was currently on the trail of The Senator. The Senator is a former politician and ancient wizard who, after killing another super villain in cold blood, had magicked himself away without paying for his crimes. Her old enemy and current ally, Action Steve, and her new boss, Detective Ace Malloy, had managed to trace one of The Senator's phone calls to a building about a block from here. She left the sprite in the parking lot, strapped her Fruit Smoothie guitar across her back, and walked toward a high rise building in the middle of Downtown Hulaville.
There were many odd things about Action Steve. One of those things was how he defeated his enemies. He was an undeniably good, if extremely unorthodox, fighter. His fighting style was not unlike his dancing style. Odd, unpredictable, but applied with so much unexpected enthusiasm and energy from a man of his age and weight that most who encounter him either on the dance floor or on the field of battle are completely unprepared. And the man sweats profusely. The word "glisten" could never ever describe the buckets of fluid that poured from Action Steve as he dispatched villains. But back to his fighting, most of the time Action Steve won the day not because he was a decent fighter, but because of his friends and allies. To defeat The Greedy Gopher, for example, Action Steve enlisted the help of some of Hulaville's local fursuit wearing population, who had been tired of all the bad press The Gopher was giving them.
And now I'm caught up in it, thought The Mighty Pineapple as she drove her 1956 Austin Healey-Sprite (painted with a brown and yellow pineapple themed mesh) into a parking lot. She had been one of those original villains. Actually she'd been a villain for much longer than Action Steve had ever been a hero. For years she had embraced her differentness, her inability to fit in, and had taken revenge on the world for not accepting her. But here she was, an accepted member of the Hulaville police force, and publicist for one of her former super hero enemies, Action Pre.
She was currently on the trail of The Senator. The Senator is a former politician and ancient wizard who, after killing another super villain in cold blood, had magicked himself away without paying for his crimes. Her old enemy and current ally, Action Steve, and her new boss, Detective Ace Malloy, had managed to trace one of The Senator's phone calls to a building about a block from here. She left the sprite in the parking lot, strapped her Fruit Smoothie guitar across her back, and walked toward a high rise building in the middle of Downtown Hulaville.
Monday, February 8, 2010
The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Evil Twin!"
In our last episode Action Steve had followed a common thug underground. After knocking him out, a clone of Action Steve revealed himself and attacked the original Action Steve! The clone, dressed like his original but all in black, now rushes forward, his black, v shaped, Action Guitar ready to strike! But as he strikes, Action Steve parries with his Action-lele, already in battle mode with it's two hammer heads on either side. Shouts, grunts, and musical clangs are heard in the old disused sewer drain.
Action Steve had already been winded from the chase but was holding his own against this impostor. They held their weapons against each other, straining against one another for an instant. "You can't win pal!" says the clone angrily. He withdraws and strikes many times as he says. "I know what you know!" Strike. "Got your memories!" Strike. "And I'm faster, stronger and better!" Strike, strike, strike.
Each of these blows has been deflected by The Original Action Steve, who then quickly points the butt end of his Action-lele at his doppelganger and sprays sleeping gas into his face.
This merely irritates the clone. He wipes his face. "Isn't it standard procedure to make yourself immune to your own knockout ga--?" As The Fake Action Steve removes his hand from his face he suddenly has a very close view of The Action-lele as it hits him right in the kisser! Action Steve quickly follows this with a hit to the gut, and to the back of the knees. Action Steve quickly gets on top of the clone, disarms him, and binds the fake Action Steve's hands and feet.
"I guess we've still got some improvements to make," says another voice. Out of the shadows comes Action Raptor!
No, wait! Here comes another Action Raptor!, and another, and another, and another! Action Steve can see that these are cybernetically enhanced clones of Action Raptor but they don't have any feathers! Each one has metal armor covering most of their bodies. And each have had one of their eyes replaced with a glowing red cybernetic eye! They also each have two shoulder mounted cannons! Two of them are holding a cage, in which the real Action Raptor is held!
If this wasn't enough of a shock to the winded, worn out, and bruised Action Steve, Lounatic, the source of the voice from the shadows, emerges.
"Louis 'Lounatik' Nguyen?" asks the exhausted and surprised Action Steve.
"I'm just going by Lounatic now." Lounatic pauses, "With a 'c'".
"Got it!" says an angry and hopelessly outmatched Action Steve. Never the less he picks up the other Action Steve's Action Guitar and, holding a weapon in each hand, and moves to fight evil even in the face of insurmountable odds!
Action Steve had already been winded from the chase but was holding his own against this impostor. They held their weapons against each other, straining against one another for an instant. "You can't win pal!" says the clone angrily. He withdraws and strikes many times as he says. "I know what you know!" Strike. "Got your memories!" Strike. "And I'm faster, stronger and better!" Strike, strike, strike.
Each of these blows has been deflected by The Original Action Steve, who then quickly points the butt end of his Action-lele at his doppelganger and sprays sleeping gas into his face.
This merely irritates the clone. He wipes his face. "Isn't it standard procedure to make yourself immune to your own knockout ga--?" As The Fake Action Steve removes his hand from his face he suddenly has a very close view of The Action-lele as it hits him right in the kisser! Action Steve quickly follows this with a hit to the gut, and to the back of the knees. Action Steve quickly gets on top of the clone, disarms him, and binds the fake Action Steve's hands and feet.
"I guess we've still got some improvements to make," says another voice. Out of the shadows comes Action Raptor!
No, wait! Here comes another Action Raptor!, and another, and another, and another! Action Steve can see that these are cybernetically enhanced clones of Action Raptor but they don't have any feathers! Each one has metal armor covering most of their bodies. And each have had one of their eyes replaced with a glowing red cybernetic eye! They also each have two shoulder mounted cannons! Two of them are holding a cage, in which the real Action Raptor is held!
If this wasn't enough of a shock to the winded, worn out, and bruised Action Steve, Lounatic, the source of the voice from the shadows, emerges.
"Louis 'Lounatik' Nguyen?" asks the exhausted and surprised Action Steve.
"I'm just going by Lounatic now." Lounatic pauses, "With a 'c'".
"Got it!" says an angry and hopelessly outmatched Action Steve. Never the less he picks up the other Action Steve's Action Guitar and, holding a weapon in each hand, and moves to fight evil even in the face of insurmountable odds!
Friday, February 5, 2010
The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "Excitement!"
Action Steve is having an Exciting and Action-Packed Salad!
We see Action Steve take another fork full of spinach and sprouts.
Action Steve adds more oil and vinegar to the mix! Astonishing!
Munch, munch, munch, munch.
Action Steve looks out into the middle distance at nothing much in particular, enjoying his tasty salad.
Well, I suppose that's it for this episode of-- Wait what's that? A group of thugs across the street are beating up an old man! Action Steve quickly rushes to the man's aid!
Action Steve takes out his Ukulele and hits one of the three men in the gut, knocking him down. The other two make a break for it. Two women run from their car and assist the man. One of them turns to Action Steve and says, "Go, we can help here." Action Steve nods to the two strangers and takes off after the remaining two villains. He runs after them as they go into an alley. Why is it always alleys? Action Steve asks himself. The two break a door down and go inside. He quickly follows after them. It's a kitchen! Action Steve follows the chaos, past chefs in front of ovens, and people washing dishes. As the two thugs push past the kitchen staff, a portly teenage kid who was washing the dishes takes a hot wok to on of the men's heads, knocking him out.
CLANG!
The rest of the staff cheers and claps. Action Steve high fives the kid as he runs past into--
A basement? And the basement leads into--
Action Steve supposes it's another basement. The thug runs into a hole in the wall, which leads into an old sewer drain. It's quiet except for the footsteps of Action Steve and the thug. The sound of their feet hitting the cement echoes down the drain. Action Steve notices a wide seam in the ceiling and shoots a grapple line from his Action-lele into it. He jumps and swings into the thug, feet first, knocking him to the ground. Action Steve gets the man to his feet and then punches him in the face, knocking him out.
"Well done!" says an unexpected but strangely familiar voice. Action Steve looks into the shadows in the direction where the voice came from. In all his super hero adventures Action Steve had learned to run pretty fast but the chase had still winded him.
"Who's there?" asks Action Steve.
"There's no need to fear!" sneered the voice. "It's me! Action Steve!" Out of the shadows walked another Action Steve! This one had a more closely trimmed beard and was slim. He didn't have the real Action Steve's belly, but he did wear a fedora, mask, cape, and gloves. It's just that they were all black. This fake Action Steve also didn't have an Action Ukulele but an all black, v shaped, electric guitar. "Hello Action Steve!" yelled the impostor. "HELLO AND GOODBYE!" As he yells at Action Steve, the fake Action Steve rushed toward him, holding his heavy metal guitar in the air, ready to strike!
We see Action Steve take another fork full of spinach and sprouts.
Action Steve adds more oil and vinegar to the mix! Astonishing!
Munch, munch, munch, munch.
Action Steve looks out into the middle distance at nothing much in particular, enjoying his tasty salad.
Well, I suppose that's it for this episode of-- Wait what's that? A group of thugs across the street are beating up an old man! Action Steve quickly rushes to the man's aid!
Action Steve takes out his Ukulele and hits one of the three men in the gut, knocking him down. The other two make a break for it. Two women run from their car and assist the man. One of them turns to Action Steve and says, "Go, we can help here." Action Steve nods to the two strangers and takes off after the remaining two villains. He runs after them as they go into an alley. Why is it always alleys? Action Steve asks himself. The two break a door down and go inside. He quickly follows after them. It's a kitchen! Action Steve follows the chaos, past chefs in front of ovens, and people washing dishes. As the two thugs push past the kitchen staff, a portly teenage kid who was washing the dishes takes a hot wok to on of the men's heads, knocking him out.
CLANG!
The rest of the staff cheers and claps. Action Steve high fives the kid as he runs past into--
A basement? And the basement leads into--
Action Steve supposes it's another basement. The thug runs into a hole in the wall, which leads into an old sewer drain. It's quiet except for the footsteps of Action Steve and the thug. The sound of their feet hitting the cement echoes down the drain. Action Steve notices a wide seam in the ceiling and shoots a grapple line from his Action-lele into it. He jumps and swings into the thug, feet first, knocking him to the ground. Action Steve gets the man to his feet and then punches him in the face, knocking him out.
"Well done!" says an unexpected but strangely familiar voice. Action Steve looks into the shadows in the direction where the voice came from. In all his super hero adventures Action Steve had learned to run pretty fast but the chase had still winded him.
"Who's there?" asks Action Steve.
"There's no need to fear!" sneered the voice. "It's me! Action Steve!" Out of the shadows walked another Action Steve! This one had a more closely trimmed beard and was slim. He didn't have the real Action Steve's belly, but he did wear a fedora, mask, cape, and gloves. It's just that they were all black. This fake Action Steve also didn't have an Action Ukulele but an all black, v shaped, electric guitar. "Hello Action Steve!" yelled the impostor. "HELLO AND GOODBYE!" As he yells at Action Steve, the fake Action Steve rushed toward him, holding his heavy metal guitar in the air, ready to strike!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "What Smart Criminals Do"
Lounatic is sitting behind a mahogany desk in his newly bought leather chair. His new office is decorated with copies of renaissance paintings but he couldn't resist a bit of nerdly flare. Behind his chair in a very tasteful frame was a photograph of Captain Kirk. Below was the caption, "I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am." It was ridiculous he knew, and some found it out of character for him. But it was amusing, and he thought it was a good way to get people to relax in his office.
Lounatic opened up his notebook and had another look at his balance sheets. He had several accounts at this point. Ah, this was absurdly easy. Why had he ever done things any other way? You do what you know until you grow, he thought to himself. Why rob a bank when you could very easily rob thousands of people at once via identity theft? Lounatic's plan was to quickly get out of this business too and move onto ventures that were entirely legal. After all, once you have enough money to warp the law to your will, you can do whatever you like out in the open and make obscene amounts of money doing it.
A young man with short cropped blonde hair, wearing a blue suit and red tie came into the office. He was dressed like The Senator always dressed but didn't look like him. He was much younger for a start. "What do you think?" he asked Lounatic.
"I think I'd very much like to learn that skill Senator," replied Lounatic.
"I've decided to go with Ronald Brown for now." The Senator waved his hand across an imaginary campaign poster. "Ron Brown for U.S. Senate!"
"Won't most people think it's you?" asked Lounatic. "They saw you cast a spell on television."
"Polls show 70% of people believe the video of my killing The Thrill Seeker is some special effects trick. I'm certainly not the first person to recognize that humans will explain away any magic they encounter because they don't believe magic exists."
"Anyway I'm through with public office for now." continued The Senator. "The real power today is in business. You and I are going to make a lot of money, and therefore," he paused, "posses a lot of power."
"I still have doubts about going after Action Steve and the rest of those ridiculous people," replies Louis.
"What good is power if you can't use it to crush your enemies?" asks The Senator. "No, we proceed with the plan I think."
Lounatic opened up his notebook and had another look at his balance sheets. He had several accounts at this point. Ah, this was absurdly easy. Why had he ever done things any other way? You do what you know until you grow, he thought to himself. Why rob a bank when you could very easily rob thousands of people at once via identity theft? Lounatic's plan was to quickly get out of this business too and move onto ventures that were entirely legal. After all, once you have enough money to warp the law to your will, you can do whatever you like out in the open and make obscene amounts of money doing it.
A young man with short cropped blonde hair, wearing a blue suit and red tie came into the office. He was dressed like The Senator always dressed but didn't look like him. He was much younger for a start. "What do you think?" he asked Lounatic.
"I think I'd very much like to learn that skill Senator," replied Lounatic.
"I've decided to go with Ronald Brown for now." The Senator waved his hand across an imaginary campaign poster. "Ron Brown for U.S. Senate!"
"Won't most people think it's you?" asked Lounatic. "They saw you cast a spell on television."
"Polls show 70% of people believe the video of my killing The Thrill Seeker is some special effects trick. I'm certainly not the first person to recognize that humans will explain away any magic they encounter because they don't believe magic exists."
"Anyway I'm through with public office for now." continued The Senator. "The real power today is in business. You and I are going to make a lot of money, and therefore," he paused, "posses a lot of power."
"I still have doubts about going after Action Steve and the rest of those ridiculous people," replies Louis.
"What good is power if you can't use it to crush your enemies?" asks The Senator. "No, we proceed with the plan I think."
Monday, February 1, 2010
The Astonishing Adventures of Action Steve! This Episode: "The Senator's Motel Room"
In our last episode, Action Raptor, Action Pre, Action Steve, the newly magically sentient Super Action Vehicle, or S.A.V. for short, and Detective Ace Malloy were on the magical trail of the ancient sorcerer and criminal called The Senator. With the help of Action Steve's newly acquired spell book, The Action Alliance has managed to track him down to a motel. As The Action Alliance waves goodbye to a family of fans they met in the motel parking lot, they quickly walk toward where the team thinks The Senator may have got to, a magical trail revealed by Action Steve's Spell leads to a motel room. Ace Malloy got the key from the front desk and is opening it as the Action Alliance approaches.
"You know Action Steve, the way the kids react to you you ought to consider making a line of toys or at least some T-Shirts," says Action Pre.
"Will you two focus on the job at hand?" the exasperated Malloy loudly whispers. "At least the damn bird-lizard is paying attention. The Senator could be in there right now!" It was true, Action Raptor had his back to the wall, utility cannon at the ready, waiting for Malloy to open the door. Malloy had his gun at the ready. Action Pre and Action Steve, looking apologetic, got quiet. Action Steve gets his Action Ukulele out, ready to strike, and Action Pre points his forearms at the door, instantly several guns pop out of his cybernetic arms, stretching out of his specially made suit.
Malloy bursts open the door and points his gun into the room. Action Raptor follows. Action Pre and Steve bring up the rear. The team quickly determines that The Senator isn't here. Action Steve opens his spell book while the others have a look around.
"Will you look at that!" says Action Pre indicating the television set. The magical trail they had been following was fading but they could see it let to the TV. The inside of the old picture tube was completely melted and burned out. Foot steps had burnt the carpet and recently molten glass trailed from the television to the floor.
"I think we found the other end of that portal," said Ace Malloy. He carefully avoids stepping on the trail of glass and takes out a small device about the size of a pack of cigarettes. Ace then unplugs the phone jack from the old analog phone and inserts it into the device.
Action Raptor looks at Malloy inquisitively and says, "Toooooaurc?"
"You figure he used a cell phone after walking through that mess?" Malloy replies, nodding at the burnt out television. "I'm betting he used this phone." He looks down at the device and then takes out his cell phone to make some calls.
"How's it going?" asks Action Pre of Action Steve, who is muttering some spells near the television.
"Well," answers Action Steve, "Either he's got some spell protecting him from detection or," Action Steve closes the book with a twhump! "I need more practice," he says grinning.
"Okay, we've got a few leads but we stay here until we get some more people on the scene," says Ace Malloy. "I've called The Mighty Pineapple and a few men to go check things out. She's a detective now by the way."
The Action Alliance all nod as if to say, "good for her". Action Pre replies, "Yup, but she said she'd still be my publicist."
"I really need to get another gig," said the unemployed Action Steve.
"You know Action Steve, the way the kids react to you you ought to consider making a line of toys or at least some T-Shirts," says Action Pre.
"Will you two focus on the job at hand?" the exasperated Malloy loudly whispers. "At least the damn bird-lizard is paying attention. The Senator could be in there right now!" It was true, Action Raptor had his back to the wall, utility cannon at the ready, waiting for Malloy to open the door. Malloy had his gun at the ready. Action Pre and Action Steve, looking apologetic, got quiet. Action Steve gets his Action Ukulele out, ready to strike, and Action Pre points his forearms at the door, instantly several guns pop out of his cybernetic arms, stretching out of his specially made suit.
Malloy bursts open the door and points his gun into the room. Action Raptor follows. Action Pre and Steve bring up the rear. The team quickly determines that The Senator isn't here. Action Steve opens his spell book while the others have a look around.
"Will you look at that!" says Action Pre indicating the television set. The magical trail they had been following was fading but they could see it let to the TV. The inside of the old picture tube was completely melted and burned out. Foot steps had burnt the carpet and recently molten glass trailed from the television to the floor.
"I think we found the other end of that portal," said Ace Malloy. He carefully avoids stepping on the trail of glass and takes out a small device about the size of a pack of cigarettes. Ace then unplugs the phone jack from the old analog phone and inserts it into the device.
Action Raptor looks at Malloy inquisitively and says, "Toooooaurc?"
"You figure he used a cell phone after walking through that mess?" Malloy replies, nodding at the burnt out television. "I'm betting he used this phone." He looks down at the device and then takes out his cell phone to make some calls.
"How's it going?" asks Action Pre of Action Steve, who is muttering some spells near the television.
"Well," answers Action Steve, "Either he's got some spell protecting him from detection or," Action Steve closes the book with a twhump! "I need more practice," he says grinning.
"Okay, we've got a few leads but we stay here until we get some more people on the scene," says Ace Malloy. "I've called The Mighty Pineapple and a few men to go check things out. She's a detective now by the way."
The Action Alliance all nod as if to say, "good for her". Action Pre replies, "Yup, but she said she'd still be my publicist."
"I really need to get another gig," said the unemployed Action Steve.
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